Julie Bass of Oak Park, Michigan, the brazen menace to decent society that she is, took it upon herself to grow vegetables in her yard using soil that she owns. She is now facing 93 days in jail because of it - a paltry amount of time for a charge so serious. How is the bitch getting away with 93 days??? Did she hire Jose Baez or something?
For all of you as morally outraged as I am that this woman is only going to spend a little over 3 months in jail for growing VEGETABLES, be outraged no more. You too can email the government officials responsible for throwing the book at her to congratulate them on a job well done (and to demand a stiffer sentence FFS.) My email to them, as well as to a couple members of the Detroit media, is below. Feel free to copy & paste their addresses and send off emails of your own.
To: firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
Dear Big Brother Krulkowski,
Thank you for making the world a safer place by clamping down on these vegetable loving, left-wing liberals. The very fact that the Bass family is growing basil in their front yard must mean they are supplying homo chefs with anti-family seasonings to add to their 5-star Sodom & Gomorrah restaurant menus. And cucumbers? A blind man can see the Freudian meaning there.
Treasonists like the Bass family have been a pariah to our chemically processed, rubber mulched, heterosexual, white-bred Christian society for far too long. I am ecstatic that public servants such as yourself are walking amongst us, fighting the good fight. Forget about the homeless (they are lazy bums anyway) and the need for dignified care of the elderly (why don't those old farts just die already?) and stay focused on that damn Julie Bass. She's probably using those tomatoes she so wantonly grows as part of some voodoo Satanic ritual that involves goats, horns, and indulging in illicit sexual relations with Muslim terrorists.
If you don't throw her in jail now, what will she grow next? Zucchini? Crack cocaine? Where does it end?
Julie Bass is a dangerous anarchist who seems to think she lives in a country that allows personal freedom and true ownership of a citizen's own home. I bet she's one of those tree-hugging panty-wastes who thinks having her crotch examined at the airport is a sexual assault instead of a freedom pat. She's probably also against the beloved Patriot Act, which gave our military the right to fire on its own citizens. I bet she wears white after Labor Day (if the commie even celebrates it,) prefers cotton over cashmere, and runs with scissors. Hell, she's probably fed her family from that weirdo garden without injecting the vegetables with steroids first. It's downright filthy and un-American!
I tip my hat in homage to you, Big Brother Krulkowski. Actually I don't wear a hat, but you get my point. And if you don't get my point, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought.
Disrespectfully and Patriotically Yours,