Jaid Black: The Queen of Steam

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Steve & Marjorie Harvey... And the Things That Make You Go Hmmmm

July 13, 2015

When I saw this video of Steve Harvey's birthday tribute from his wife and kids making its rounds on Facebook, like 13 million other people I stopped and watched.

Touching stuff, isn't it? I even had to blink back a few tears. That said, sentimental or not, something just didn't sit right with me about this. I found it odd that all seven of the children had no issues with Marjorie referring to herself as their mother even though only three of the seven are Marjorie's biological kids. Just as strange, Marjorie's children, none of whom were fathered by Steve, all call the comedian "dad" while at least one of those three—Marjorie's oldest son—has taken on the Harvey last name. What were the odds of Steve's two ex-wives and Marjorie's two ex-husbands ALL walking away from their children and parental rights? Later that evening, because that "hmmm" feeling wasn't dissipating, I did a little background snooping on Steve & Marjorie.

Steve's first wife, Marcia, is impossible to find information about, but they were married for 14 years (1980-1994.) What are the odds of a woman walking away from the three children she bore Harvey after spending 14 YEARS raising them? I'm guessing the odds aren't in Steve & Marjorie's favor. 

Then there is wife #2, Mary. Check out this video she posted on YouTube:

And Steve's rebuttal:

Then I see Mary was arrested in 2013. Here's why:

First off, this poor woman obviously wants her son back. My best educated guess (having seen this go down before) is Steve won't budge because of control issues. By retaining full custody of his son, he doesn't have to pay Mary a damn dime, thereby controlling her and their child. Never mind that this woman's son has been ripped away, never mind that she gave up 16 years of her life on his fool father & his ugly ass mustache. Mary has become throwaway garbage because she can't afford a lawyer to go against Steve Harvey's TEAM of lawyers.

I used to find Steve Harvey humorous; now I'm boycotting anything he has his hand in. Ditto that sentiment for Marjorie Harvey. (Not that she did anything noteworthy to begin with; judging from her Instagram she spends her days taking vanity portraits of herself and star-fucking anyone she can take a selfie with.)

Here's the thing, Steve: it's bad enough that you treat women like disposable diapers, but it is beyond the pale when you actively and aggressively keep those women separated from their children. I would love to see a bitch sit up there on television talking about she's the mother of MY children... it wouldn't end pretty. And to Marjorie's children who turned their backs on their real fathers? Karma's a bitch. Remember that when your children turn their backs on you. 

No matter WHAT happens in this world your real mother is your real mother and your real father is your real father. I'm not in any way dissing stepparents because in many cases they are more active in their stepkids' lives than biological parents. Kudos to them for stepping up to the plate! But Steve and the current Mrs. Harvey aren't stepping up to shit; they are stepping ON real people they don't find useful anymore.



What's The Difference Between The Confederate Flag & The Nazi Flag? Nothing.

June 29, 2015

I was thrilled (or as thrilled as one can get over so egregious a subject) when I came across this article in the Washington Post. It summed up everything I was feeling about the confederate flag issue and gave me some food for thought to boot. 

Point blank: there is no difference between the Nazi flag and the Confederate flag. Both flags represent the dehumanization and attempted genocide of a selected group of people, Jews and black Americans respectively. While no German Jew has to endure state-sanctioned Nazi symbolism, as well it should be, every black southerner has, at some point in their life, seen the Confederate flag hoisted up alongside the American flag on government property.

Imagine the horror a German Jew would feel driving their car on Adolf Hitler Avenue or sending their child to Josef Mengele High School. Very few Americans could stomach the idea of forcing such a scenario onto the Jewish people, yet southern streets, schools, and other state institutions are commonly named for "white power" leaders. This fact of everyday life disgusts and baffles me.

When I was a kid I used to love watching the Dukes of Hazzard on TV. The Confederate flag was emblazoned on the top of Luke & Bo Duke's car and I didn't think anything of it. Why? I was a kid who didn't know any better, let alone hold an understanding of what that symbol represented. Kids have that excuse; grown adults do not. 

Grown adults in the United States would have to be deaf, blind, and mentally challenged to not inherently know that the Confederate flag and Confederacy leaders represent slavery, segregation, genocide, lynchings, institutionalized racism, and the belief in white supremacy. The typical response from a Confederate flag supporter when questioned about the divisiveness such a symbol carries is "it's heritage, not hate." My response to them is: it's a heritage of hate.

Nazi emblems are a part of German history, but those hate symbols have been rightfully banned. Because the swastika is illegal, German white supremacists have been using a different emblem for some time. What flag do they now wave? One guess.

It's time to start thinking and to stop reacting without having all the facts. The Confederate flag is a part of American history, but not a part that should be glorified and romanticized. There are only two places this symbol of hatred belongs: in a museum and in the garbage.



For The Bigots...

June 27, 2015

I'm Proud To Be An American

June 26, 2015

Today, June 26, 2015, has been an emotional day for my family. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd live to see gays and lesbians get the right to marry, but I did. (And I'm only 43!) Perhaps the SCOTUS's ruling on marriage equality won't make homophobia go away, but it's a giant leap in the right direction. 

I was awoken this morning by my phone ringing off the hook. "Mom! Mom!" my youngest daughter enthused. "Have you heard the news?!"

"Baby, my eyes aren't even open."

"So nobody's told you?!"

"Told me what?"

"The Supreme Court has ruled in favor of marriage equality!" She sounded ready to burst with joy. "My sister can legally get married now and there's nothing any hater can do about it!"

By now the drowsiness was wearing off and I was sitting up in bed. The impact of my daughter's words hit me hard. I couldn't seem to find my voice. "Are you... is this for real?"


My oldest daughter, who's been mostly out of the closet for years and fully out of it since Mother's Day 2014, was too emotional to speak, but my youngest let me know she was listening to our conversation. I felt numb, a bit surreal, and wondered if I was dreaming. "Are you sure?" I asked dumbly.

"Mom! Wake up! I know you're three hours behind, but wake up!"

I immediately stood up and walked out to the balcony, listening as my youngest animatedly told me every detail she knew about Obergefell vs Hodges. I lit up a cigarette, reminded myself I needed to quit, and continued to listen. "The Court was split 5-4, but we still won!"

"I can't believe it," I murmured.

I saw American flags and rainbow flags being hoisted up all over the metropolis below me, paparazzi choppers buzzing around for a story, and heard more horns honking than was usual for a Friday morning on the Sunset Strip. I live in the Hollywood Hills overlooking West Hollywood, or WeHo as locals it, which boasts a large gay community and is home to Los Angeles' annual gay pride festivities and parade. My youngest daughter's words coupled with the sights and sounds below finally made everything click. My eyes filled with tears.

"When I have children," my youngest said, "they will be born into a country where they can marry whoever they love. They'll never know of a time before this ruling."

"It will be nothing more than a history lesson to them," I agreed. We both knew homophobia was more complex, but we also recognized how important this landmark case was to achieving the dream of justice for all. "I can't stop crying," I said, smiling.

As soon as we hung up the phone, I immediately got on Facebook and started doing my happy dance. I noticed that my number of "friends" was taking a nosedive and I didn't care. In fact, I was delighted they'd removed themselves.

This was an important victory for the world, our nation, our family, and my children. For one of my daughters, it was a matter of survival. For my other daughter and my nuclear family in general, it was a matter of watching my oldest be able to live her life with dignity. I couldn't stop posting my happiness to the world.

I've been in a happy daze all day long as the news stories continue to flood in. Two men in their 80s, together for 50+ years, were the first to marry in Dallas County, Texas. A photo circulated of an elderly lesbian couple taking their vows at long last, side by side in their wheelchairs. I sent the image (below) to my oldest daughter and we both teared up— happiness for the couple and gratitude that she would never have to wait so long to say "I Do."

For those of you upset by today's momentous ruling... I don't understand hatred, especially one carried out in the name of God... but neither do I care. You've had every other day in history to gloat and carry on with your bigoted ways. This day belongs to us, to love.




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